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my thumb hurts after volleyball last week.
going to london today.
nice day yesterday with jedi hedgehog.
write more soon.
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45 minutes left until the exam.
sitting at McDonald's, espresso, croissant. music.
anyway, it'll be over soon enough.
lots of work at the hospital, but it's okay.
going to the theatre tonight with Kuc Kuc. she had birthday yesterday. everything goes fine with her & the guy. we talk a lot about it.
nothing goes right with jedi hedgehog. Thursday night while driving i saw a hedgehog on the road. i wanted to go back & save him, but my instructor said he's dead already. ha. hahaha. laughs with gloom. actually it's not a laugh, it's saying 'hahaha' not very loudly. cos it's exactly like life. i can't save the hedgehog anymore & probably never could. he'd much rather die.
do you know derren brown? what he does is amazing.
okay, me go soon. I'd rather wait there than be late.
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i had a 28 days later dream tonight. it usually has a cause, but not this time.
on the bus again, coming back from Loreena's concert. awesome. i love violin again.
so, that'll be it. nothing new to write.
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it's my third attempt to post an entry.
1 on my way home from jedi hedgehog's place. i wanted to write that we played a game & then i fell asleep so everyone went & i stayed & it was some sleep & lot's of fun until 11.
2 on my way to my parents'. i went there to pick the other key to my door, cos the lock wouldn't open. i wanted to write what i already mentioned in 1 & that my f#$%ing door won't open & that i was furious, tired, maybe stinky.
3 now, on the tram, going to play volleyball.
so, the story with the lock ended happily after all. i found a 24/7 slusarz on the net, called, he came half aj hour later, a nice, normal, young guy, not what i expected, he tried the key, nothing happened, so he took a hammer, started hammering while turning the key, the lock let go, he opened the food gracefully, i felt i could hug him out of joy, but instead i paid, thanked a lot & went in. finally, i could take a bath.
i won't be a great help at the volleyball today, i guess. the weakest link.
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it was,so I'm glad we didn't meet yesterday,jj.
i took my rollerskates out& went to my uncle's cos it was his nameday. his name is not Patrick. &then i went to my lil bro's friend's &we made some sushi with his dad,who is a chef. we had some sake & some beers &we ate &it was delicious &we sang &it was fun. jedi hedgehog was there &it seems we missed each other terribly. so i took him home.
so i didn't get much sleep. now going to my parents' then back to cleaning up the place,cos my cousin from the mountains stays the night tonight.
jedi hedgehog really is a great guy. should visit more often.
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muahaha,me was playing volleyball for 3hrs n me is sooo happy!i have no epidermis left on my right calf,my forearms r red n swollen,my thighs will kill me tomorrow,but i feel great:) i met some nice people n I'll go again next week if nth stops me:) cos nth can stóp me!
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i'm kinda blah & allergic to the cat again so it's pms.
listening to diary of dreams. i wish i didn't understand the lyrics.
well.
learning how to drive still & it's fun. today we went north. we've made more than 100 km. & now it's exams.
& i'm responsible for filling our safe with drugs, opioids mainly. i had a dream last night that there were none in the safe. it was a nightmare. well, it's just for 3 months... it will pass, like everything does.
"my heart weights a ton" but the snow is so light. muahahaha.
my heart is too light at times. actually i think it's made of stone.
i hate pms so much.
listening to diary of dreams. i wish i didn't understand the lyrics.
well.
learning how to drive still & it's fun. today we went north. we've made more than 100 km. & now it's exams.
& i'm responsible for filling our safe with drugs, opioids mainly. i had a dream last night that there were none in the safe. it was a nightmare. well, it's just for 3 months... it will pass, like everything does.
"my heart weights a ton" but the snow is so light. muahahaha.
my heart is too light at times. actually i think it's made of stone.
i hate pms so much.
driving is so much fun :)
and i bought a printer to print photos. actually, i hoped it was a bit cheaper than printing out and it's comparable, but printing at home is fun too.
so it's fun& fun.
& work goes ok. for the last week i was working with the boss herself, don't know why, which makes me a bit nervous, & same on monday. creepy. all week, it was either her watching me, or her minion, hihihi. aha, she has one :) dunno what's going on.
& it's cold so i hibernate, really. i sleep 7-10 hrs a day. i sometimes go to sleep at 8 p.m. yes. so it's fun & fun & confusion.
& i've seen Carnage, & didn't like it at all. so it's fun & fun & confusion & disappointment.
& i was supposed to see the Muppets for some weeks now, & probably tomorrow... i'm not quite sure i want to see this guy again. so it's fun, fun, confusion, disappontment & confusion.
i cut my fringe a bit 2 days ago, so it's fun, fun, confusion, disappointment, confusion & muahahaha.
Tekken is fine, he seems to be taking this cold better than i am. last week i bought a nice sweater & i put it in the wardrobe without taking it out from the plastic bag i brought it in, & he opened the wardrobe, took out the bag, took out the sweater & possibly wore it for a couple of hrs. when i came back it was covered in his fur. so the cat is ok & fashionable.
Guillaume wrote an unexpected e-mail yesterday. he said he's fine, happy with his girlfriend, travelling a bit & sending a warm kiss, so i don't get cold here. so it's... see title :)
and i bought a printer to print photos. actually, i hoped it was a bit cheaper than printing out and it's comparable, but printing at home is fun too.
so it's fun& fun.
& work goes ok. for the last week i was working with the boss herself, don't know why, which makes me a bit nervous, & same on monday. creepy. all week, it was either her watching me, or her minion, hihihi. aha, she has one :) dunno what's going on.
& it's cold so i hibernate, really. i sleep 7-10 hrs a day. i sometimes go to sleep at 8 p.m. yes. so it's fun & fun & confusion.
& i've seen Carnage, & didn't like it at all. so it's fun & fun & confusion & disappointment.
& i was supposed to see the Muppets for some weeks now, & probably tomorrow... i'm not quite sure i want to see this guy again. so it's fun, fun, confusion, disappontment & confusion.
i cut my fringe a bit 2 days ago, so it's fun, fun, confusion, disappointment, confusion & muahahaha.
Tekken is fine, he seems to be taking this cold better than i am. last week i bought a nice sweater & i put it in the wardrobe without taking it out from the plastic bag i brought it in, & he opened the wardrobe, took out the bag, took out the sweater & possibly wore it for a couple of hrs. when i came back it was covered in his fur. so the cat is ok & fashionable.
Guillaume wrote an unexpected e-mail yesterday. he said he's fine, happy with his girlfriend, travelling a bit & sending a warm kiss, so i don't get cold here. so it's... see title :)
writing the truth should be forbidden. it only makes life more complicated. books should cultivate our delusions about what life&love are all about.
dates. well... no infatuation so no hopes for anything but awkwardness.
a date today also. skating. not much fun though. there're no butterflies when i know the guy is interested.
coincidence. the only thing i want to trust from now on.
dates. well... no infatuation so no hopes for anything but awkwardness.
a date today also. skating. not much fun though. there're no butterflies when i know the guy is interested.
coincidence. the only thing i want to trust from now on.
great day today! some work done at the hospital, then volleyball, then fun at jj's. playing cards & stuff. just got home.
while waiting for the bus i felt a bit sad. not too much, but i did. the theory is: alcohol doesn't ease my mind. it softens my skin (tough rhino theory) and washes the waxy-jelly layer on my feathers (indifferent duck theory). so many barriers disapear under the influence of alcohol, so why shouldn't those?
all the time, the feeling of loss is much weaker than the feeling of humiliation & pity. it's pity mostly. and sometimes it's just "life's not fair" thing.
eh... & somebody else says he misses me. is it contagious or what?
while waiting for the bus i felt a bit sad. not too much, but i did. the theory is: alcohol doesn't ease my mind. it softens my skin (tough rhino theory) and washes the waxy-jelly layer on my feathers (indifferent duck theory). so many barriers disapear under the influence of alcohol, so why shouldn't those?
all the time, the feeling of loss is much weaker than the feeling of humiliation & pity. it's pity mostly. and sometimes it's just "life's not fair" thing.
eh... & somebody else says he misses me. is it contagious or what?
(n.) A little spark; a scintillation., (n.) Brilliancy; luster; as, the sparkle of a diamond., (n.) To emit sparks; to throw off ignited or incandescent particles; to shine as if throwing off sparks; to emit flashes of light; to scintillate; to twinkle; as, the blazing wood sparkles; the stars sparkle., (n.) To manifest itself by, or as if by, emitting sparks; to glisten; to flash., (n.) To emit little bubbles, as certain kinds of liquors; to effervesce; as, sparkling wine., (v. t.) To emit in the form or likeness of sparks., (v. t.) To disperse., (v. t.) To scatter on or over.
étinceler
The Wadden Sea - me wanna see.
étinceler
The Wadden Sea - me wanna see.
another wonderful trip with the girls, Kazimiera Bolesława, Celina Balladyna, Manuela, Jowita Marlenka & me, Regina Brunhilda.
beautiful city, quite nice weather, great pancakes, bad clubs.
not just another weekend :)
beautiful city, quite nice weather, great pancakes, bad clubs.
not just another weekend :)
Kuć Kuć comes tonight so i've been cleaning up the place a bit & i found a diary under the table. i write here most of the time, but there r things that look better on paper. so i started reading, not muc of it there, winters mostly.
i found one entry wich says my mood depends on the music, which i still find true.
Feelings like flies
surviving on shit
squeezing into every hole
impossible to get rid f
stinky black & with strange eyes
feasting.
so, tonight we want to write sth. we promised our greatest fan that we'll give her the new version on our group's Christmas Eve, which is 1 week before Christmas Eve.
well... maybe i should get back to cleaning the place.
i found one entry wich says my mood depends on the music, which i still find true.
Feelings like flies
surviving on shit
squeezing into every hole
impossible to get rid f
stinky black & with strange eyes
feasting.
so, tonight we want to write sth. we promised our greatest fan that we'll give her the new version on our group's Christmas Eve, which is 1 week before Christmas Eve.
well... maybe i should get back to cleaning the place.
all is as i wanted. i'm going to work where i wanted. i just hope that's what i wanted, really...
apart from that not much happens. party at R's new place, with some thoughts at the end & afterwards, talking to Jane. i definitely should have eaten sth before. on the whole, it wasn't a good party.
i developed a method to get rid of the guy (he wants to go to the cinema... i had the impression he enjoyed our date exactly as much as i did, which is not at all, but i was mistaken). it'll take 4 days if he calls every day.
day1: you shall pick the phone up not
day2: calls of his you shall reject
day3 (which is today probably): pick up you shall, but time you shall not find to meet
day4 (here r 2 versions): a) pick up you shall, find time you shan't, tell him you don't want to see him you shall at last or b) agree to meet him & tell him personally that you'd gladly see him in 20 years time
i ordered some medical books i'd need. well, soon begins another 6-year period in my life. i might actually be a grown-up by the time i'm a specialist.
miss u, JJ. so maybe i'm not a sociopath after all.
apart from that not much happens. party at R's new place, with some thoughts at the end & afterwards, talking to Jane. i definitely should have eaten sth before. on the whole, it wasn't a good party.
i developed a method to get rid of the guy (he wants to go to the cinema... i had the impression he enjoyed our date exactly as much as i did, which is not at all, but i was mistaken). it'll take 4 days if he calls every day.
day1: you shall pick the phone up not
day2: calls of his you shall reject
day3 (which is today probably): pick up you shall, but time you shall not find to meet
day4 (here r 2 versions): a) pick up you shall, find time you shan't, tell him you don't want to see him you shall at last or b) agree to meet him & tell him personally that you'd gladly see him in 20 years time
i ordered some medical books i'd need. well, soon begins another 6-year period in my life. i might actually be a grown-up by the time i'm a specialist.
miss u, JJ. so maybe i'm not a sociopath after all.
